We make mistakes. We say stupid things, get mad, angry. In spite of our best intentions, we do things to hurt others – and ourselves. I personally don’t have to look back past last week to think of something I said that can cause me to cringe right here as I’m typing. We just moved to a new town, and keeping everybody’s names strait, including my husband’s (yes, that’s right, I actually called my husband by a name that is not his in a crowd of new aquaintances), is proving to be a challenge.
As if that slip of the tounge were not bad enough, the inner dialogue kicks in to magnify the faux pas. It goes something like this: “oh — my — god! These people must think I’m a bimbo! How could I have said that! I’ll never make friends here. I’m not good enough. I don’t belong. What a total idiot I am…….” Does this self-talk sound familiar to anyone?
Here’s the thing – your mindfulness practice doesn’t care that you had a verbal fart. In fact, mindfulness is always here for us. So the next time you start berating yourself for making a mistake, try a five or ten minute mindfulness practice. By quieting your thoughts, and focusing on your breath, you will be flexing your compassion muscles. Your inner dialogue will sound more like this: “Wow, it’s been a crazy summer, it’s a miracle I can remember my own name, I’m doing a really good job with all this transition…..”
By taking a few moments for mindfulness when you feel embarrassed, you will change your outlook, come back to the present moment, and be able to offer more kindness to yourself and others. As an added bonus, you will be able to remember your husband’s name.
We wish you twenty minutes of mindfulness every day!
Come back soon to learn more about self-compassion.
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